Crazy to think that this time last year we were packing our bags to head to Los Cabos for our wedding week! Time really does fly! We had so much fun last year bringing you our guides on how to plan a destination wedding, how to build a wedding budget, how to throw the most epic bachelorette weekend + more! Check out all of our Wedding Series guides HERE.

Before jumping in to today’s post, I would be remiss not to acknowledge how lucky Zach + I were with the timing of our wedding. For us + so many of our friends, it was truly the last hurrah before COVID-19 changed much of the world as we know it. We are extremely thankful + aware of just how fortunate we were and how challenging this year has been for many, especially those with planned nuptials. I genuinely + deeply sympathize with those whose wedding plans have been affected.

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As I look back on one year of marriage + have all of the planning behind me, I wanted to share a few takeaways - what I wish I knew, what I would still recommend, any regrets, as well as some helpful tips + tricks! Let’s get started…!

Videography is more than worth it.
There are certain line items that are just a non-negotiable when it comes to planning a wedding. You need a place to have the event; you likely want to provide food + drinks; you want something to wear. If you’re on a budget (as most people are), you won’t be able to afford everything you want + you’ll have to compromise on a few things. Videography is one of the easiest things to eliminate - guests won’t notice, it frees up a lot of money at once, etc. We eliminated videography in our initial planning meeting to hit our budget.
Two months prior to our wedding, we decided we couldn’t live without it. We increased our wedding savings contributions above our initial budget + hired a videographer. I am SO glad. Pictures are wonderful, but video tells an even deeper story. Your wedding day is such a blur + to be able to experience the day again, hear speeches that you may have been too overwhelmed to process at the time, see your guests’ reactions is just such a gift. Yes, the common argument is “How often are you going to watch it!?” True, but also how often are you looking through your photos? Yet nobody compromises on pictures. We’ve watched our video maybe 3 times in the past year and will likely just watch on our anniversary or to show our kids one day, but even for just a handful of views, I do not regret the expense. Looking back, I actually wish that I had spent more. Because we were going over our budget to add videography, we went with the shortest package - 4 hours of coverage - but I wish that I had budgeted for this in the beginning to cover the entire day + potentially all wedding related events. I do think video is something many people might regret not having + believe it should be viewed as a higher priority item when it comes to planning + budgeting.

2. Wedding planning dates are a GREAT idea!

You know we love our money dates. Having a dedicated time carved out to talk money makes finances less stressful + helps us to accomplish our goals more quickly. So, hopefully it comes as no surprise that we recommend wedding planning dates also! One of the best decisions that we made was to set aside dedicated time to wedding plan. At the beginning + towards the end, this was happening almost weekly. In the middle, it was more of a monthly cadence. It fluctuated based on the to-do list.

Having this dedicated time made it feel like our lives were NOT consumed by wedding planning + made the whole process fun. It also helped me to feel that Zach was an equal contributor + did care about helping with all of the plans. I know lack of interest or involvement is a common complaint from many of our peers + having wedding planning dates made this a non-issue for us.

3. If you can, plan a “minimoon.”

When I first heard about “mini-moons”, it sounded like another unnecessary expense + wedding trend, but, if you can make it work, I actually couldn’t recommend planning one more!! A mini-moon is essentially time to decompress + relax with your new spouse post-wedding as opposed to either going straight back to work or straight on your honeymoon/ After our wedding, Zach + I moved to a different hotel with a more boutique feel + did a few nice dinners, spa appointments, relaxed by the pool. etc.

I recommend mini-moons for a few reasons. First, it can help break up wedding-related expenses. For many people, a honeymoon is a bucket-list, luxurious trip - aka expensive. Pushing the honeymoon out a few months, or even as a one-year anniversary celebration, can be a great way to ensure you get to take your bucket-list trip while not being stressed financially. Second, it allows you just to relax. Post-wedding, I was so exhausted and it was nice to not have to worry about jumping on a flight right away or to worry about filling our days with activities. We literally slept, lounged by the pool + went out to dinner. I envision my honeymoon to be in an exotic locale + while I want it to be relaxing + romantic, I also want to have a few big, memorable experiences and activities. Third, it spaces out PTO/vacation days + improves post-wedding blues. Because we had a destination wedding, I already had taken 5 days off of work. Even for a wedding closer to home, most people tend to take a few days off prior to their wedding. Adding on another 10+ days (average length of a honeymoon) would be a lot of time away at once + could make returning to work even more stressful. It was also nice to still have something big + exciting to look forward to after our wedding!

4. Have a second (and third!) set of eyes review your shot list.

First, absolutely put together a shot list for your photographer of all of the photos that are must-haves for you. For example, if you want a photo with all of your sorority sisters, your high school friends, your nieces and nephews, whatever it may be, provide the list in advance. Know that you may have to make adjustments to your overall wedding timeline to accommodate all of the shots or that you may have to eliminate a few if there won’t be enough time in the day.

I tried to ask as little as possible from our family + friends and tried not to bring up our wedding too often, but there were some things that, looking back, I wish I had asked for their help on. The shot list was one of them. While I have a ton of family + wedding party shots, I don’t have any of just Kelda + I together which I will always be sad about. In addition, I have shots with just my family, Zach has some with just his family and we have shots with both families together, but we don’t have any with the two of us + our respective families. I wish I had sent through the list to both of our families to review + make sure that we weren’t missing anything. There were some (like ones of Kelda + I) that I just assumed would be taken, but I’ve learned that you need to be explicit about everything that you want and that in the craziness of your wedding day, you won’t remember to ask or notice that it didn’t happen.

5. Money spent on your loved ones is never money that you will regret spending.

We used Bells + Whistles to design + deliver these welcome gifts to each person’s hotel room, along with a letter from Zach + I!

Did you know that money spent on others provides more happiness + satisfaction than money spent on yourself? There have been so many studies done on this + it’s proven to be true regardless of the amount of money spent. Buying a friend coffee brings more joy than buying yourself the same cup does. Sending your children on a trip brings more joy than booking the same trip for yourself. Looking back on our wedding, there are a handful of things that I regret spending money on. For example, I wouldn’t have spent as much on my dress, but none of the expenses that I regret were ones that related to our guest experience. Outside of the food + drinks, which are definitely a gift/thank you for your guests, we spent 10% of our wedding budget on gifts and thank yous for our loved ones.

While a wedding is all about celebrating the union of two people, it has always been my belief that it is equally a celebration + thank you to those who have helped you get there. Zach + I wanted our loved ones to feel special and know how much we appreciated them celebrating with us and supporting our love. This included gestures like covering transportation to all wedding related events, delivering welcome gifts to everyone’s rooms, treating our parents to a spa day + providing thoughtful, useful thank you gifts at all pre-wedding events (bridesmaid proposal, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc.) While budgeting for this absolutely impacted our ability to spend in other areas, I am so glad that we kept the guest experience at the forefront of all of our decisions as it led to very few regrets when looking back.

6. Order fewer invitations + more thank you cards!

This may be obvious to everyone else, but I clearly didn’t spend enough time thinking about this. When ordering our Save-The-Dates, I ordered one for each person that we planned to invite, about 100 cards total. It completely went over my head that many of our guests were couples or families, so would just need one card per household. We ended up using about 40 of the total cards that we ordered, less than half. Invitations and Save-The-Dates are an easy place to save on, if you want to, making sure that you order the right number helps!

On the other hand, when it came to thank you cards, I ordered enough for the number of people who had sent us gifts. I did not consider that some people would send gifts following the wedding, both people who had attended + those who were unable to. We ended up needing to use generic thank you cards eventually instead of our wedding thank you cards, so when it comes to thank you cards, order more than you think you’ll need!

7. Dance lessons are probably unnecessary.

While we could have skipped the dance lessons, I would highly recommend cold fireworks for a special effect!

As I mentioned, we had very few regrets about our wedding and any regrets that we did have were related to expenses that we made on ourselves. I have always found first dances to be a bit cringe worthy because most people just don’t know how to dance, especially not in a more traditional/slow dance way. I am one of those people that should not be dancing in front of an audience. Because of this, Zach + I took dance lessons prior to our wedding and we also each took a lesson with our parents for our mother/son, father/daughter dances.

While taking the lessons was super fun, I don’t think they did anything to help improve our wedding reception performances. For one, I obviously didn’t wear my dress in our lessons or at-home practices. Maneuvering in a heavy, form-fitting dress on the night of made the moves we had practiced much more challenging and, ultimately, the choreography didn’t look as good as what we had learned and practiced. I should say both Zach + his mom are clearly more natural dancers and did an amazing job. But for both our first dance + my father/daughter dance, I think it would have been better to just go with the flow and do what felt right in the moment!

That being said - we did have cold fireworks go off at the end of our first dance + that was so much fun!! Highly recommend spending your money on that instead of dance lessons.

8. A first look doesn’t need to be such a big deal.

Not doing a first look was something I was pretty adamant about throughout our wedding planning process. I placed a huge amount of importance on wanting to wait to see one another until the aisle. I was worried that walking down the aisle wouldn’t feel as exciting or special if we had seen each other prior. Ultimately, I changed my mind the week of the wedding. I wanted our wedding party + families to be able to enjoy the cocktail hour and move straight from the ceremony to having fun, so decided last minute to plan a first look.

Obviously, I can’t compare from personal experience the difference between doing or not doing a first look, but I can say that walking down the aisle would always be an emotional + special experience regardless. I still cried - a lot. It also takes a bit of pressure off of the groom. I think many people skip a first look because they want that cinematic moment of the groom crying in front of all of the guests. This places so much pressure on your partner to have a certain reaction, and in public nonetheless. If that is the only reason that you’re skipping a first look, how disappointed would you be if that reaction didn’t happen!? I would imagine if either person is the type to cry, it’s going to happen regardless of the first look.

9. Communicate clearly + in advance. Once communicated, try to stick with it!

While your wedding may be the center of your world for a time, it is not the center of everyone else’s, even your closest friends. If you have any requests or expectations, don’t expect people to be mind readers. Communicate what you need in advance, clearly + be respectful of what others can and can’t accommodate.

When I say requests or needs, I mean things like “Pictures will be taken at 1PM, so I would like everyone to be dressed + ready by then.” Not things like “I would like everyone to pay for my flights to my bach weekend” or “I require you to have your hair done, but I’m not paying for it.”

Provide people with all of the necessary information + details as soon as you can, especially when it comes to a schedule or expenses. Being respectful of other people’s time + money is so important + it’s not fair to assume that someone has blocked off his/her entire schedule for you or has reserved room in their budget for something you haven’t communicated.

If you’re having a destination wedding, people might be curious about when they’re “free,” so that they can plan fun activities or a date night. If you’re having a a local/in town wedding, your wedding party might be planning to work the day before your wedding. If you need them available for a midday rehearsal, for example, let them know in advance so they can try to make arrangements!

10. Don’t stress about post-wedding events.

This one will totally depend on your group of friends, where the wedding is, a variety of factors. But, one thing I took away, is not to stress about post-wedding events: After Party or Next Day Brunch.

Honestly, at our wedding, people were ordering trays of tequila shots literally every 10 minutes. After a long + busy day, as well as potential pre-wedding events, most people are pretty tired after all of the festivities are over. I don’t remember anyone even drinking when we went out after our wedding night, just hanging out + talking. Of course, I could see this being different if you have a larger guest list or are having a wedding in town where people might just be together for one night, but, for the average person, it’s not something I would stress too much about or allocate a lot of money towards.

That being said, one of my besties/bridesmaids had a multiple-day destination wedding with a themed After Party each night that was absolutely EPIC. Her wedding was significantly larger with many adults + family members, so the after parties were really the chance for the “kids” to get rowdy and let loose. And OMG did we let loose. Watch their wedding video HERE to get a glimpse of what I’m talking about. It was incredible. Obviously there are cases where it makes sense + is a great idea, but definitely don’t force it if it doesn’t make sense for you.

The same could be said for a Next Day Brunch. I could not imagine having to get up early, get ready, etc. the following morning. Most of your guests will likely feel the same way. People will be hungover, tired and some may even sleep in/skip it entirely. If you do choose to host something the next morning, I would keep it casual + not spend a significant amount of money on it.

Definitely allocate a majority of your budget to the wedding + events leading up to wedding vs. events following the wedding that people may be too tired/hungover/absent to appreciate!

As with anything important in life, there is no right or wrong answer, but these are simply a few observations and reflections that I have looking back on our wedding weekend a year later! For anyone planning a wedding in Los Cabos, you’ll find a complete list of vendors below. For anyone just planning a Cabo vacay, find our travel guide to one of our favorite spots HERE.

COMPLETE VENDOR LIST:

RECEPTION: ACRE BAJA

PHOTOGRAPHY: ANNA GOMES PHOTO

VIDEOGRAPHY: JORGE IBARRA FILMS

FLOWERS + DECOR: BLUSH N ROSES

DAY OF APPAREL: